Apex and Nadir; Splendid and Sad; My Life, Why am I so Lucky???

I have experienced the apex of passion from the love of a woman I am married to and adore and actually don't think I deserve. Every day I ask myself how did I get to lucky? She treats me like I am beautiful and adores me in a way I only dreampt of and never ever thought I would ever experience. I spent 17 years with someone never feeling like this, and now, 13 years later, it is still so incredibly out of this world wonderful! I miss her when I am not with her, and I can't get enough of her when I am with her! I now have that love that we see in the movies or read about in novels or see on the street as we pass that couple who are kissing in the rain, oblivious to gawkers or the elements-- just caught up in the moment!

I also have experienced the nadir of pain of loss, missing the 3 most important things I have ever loved- my children. They are adults now, and they make their own choices as to their relationships and their alliances and their preferences, and...they never pick me! it's always and forever, either by commission or ommission, they choose, by voice or by silence, their mom! The forever victim, which means I will always be depicted as forever the wolf! The pain I still feel everytime they choose her over me, by their time and effort and attention and consideration...always pick their mom...they can explain it away...their mom hasn't found love to replace her love for me; their mom needs them to feel love; I have love, so I don't need them as much as their mom; and their mom always has some crisis that drags them into her life, into her drama, into her drain of a life...she needs them; they think-- I do not! they are so wrong!

Point2Ponder: Is their a price life makes you pay for sheer joy, true love and pure passion? If you have one, must you forego something else you hold dear? Must you balance splendid with sad?

I usually have a tie up to the point, but..this time, I am stumped. I can tell you that the splendid is rapturous but the sad is resonating...through my soul, my heart, my body...it just aches!

So...just not sure if I have to lose to retain what I have won...guess for me, I cannot have it all. Why?