Some relationships just seem to be tenuous and tedious. They are always on the verge of combustion and you're never quite sure where you stand. One comment, one misinterpreted move and BAM! you're banished AGAIN!
No, i am not talking about my Bella....I am talking about our children!
Point2Ponder: When is enough enough? When does a parent get to say...I've had enough, I walk away! You know where to find me if You Ever Want Me Again...I know you know where to find me When You NEED me, but...when do you just reach out to me because...you want me?
Most fathers just accept that..their kids grow up, move out, move away and are only heard from on holidays and birthdays. I am not most fathers.
I really want to have this lifesharing event with my children and grandchildren. It doesn't have to be everyday, but I do want to share my life, have them share theirs...so we are in each other's lives, not just limbs off of a family tree!
I have that with two of my children..even my son will call just to say hello...and, eventhough he wanted to hang up after 10 minutes, he listens to my until 27 minutes, when I finally realize..i've lost him!
He is not a phone person, so the last 17 minutes...quantified love! that means a lot...he knew I needed to talk, so...he let me talk!
One of my daughters lives out of state. We are going through a difficult time in our relationship. Instead of separating and blocking communication, both of us are working hard to keep the lines of communication open...not an easy task when the point of contention is such a bone of contention!!
but, we love each other, and our love for one another is the healing salve to cover the pain and stress caused by the difficult time we are going through. I am thankful that we are able to keep this line of communication open--and I am still praying for a Godly resolution to this situation.
Then there's my other daughter--we have come so far in the last 10 years. The lines of communication are better than they have ever been. We can share family outings together and holidays at each other's homes and occasional text messages and much more infrequent phone calls. I want so much more from her, but I have to accept that this is what she is willing to give and I have to take it or leave it. Of course, I will take it! but, I have to find a way to not feel the pain of rejection every time I text and it is not returned or I leave a voicemail,asking for a callback that is never returned. Just hurts--it's my blog and I can speak my heart, and..the rejection, ignoring me...it really kills me! I want to believe it's not intentional, that she is so busy with her husband, her two kids, her job as a teacher, her church work, that she just doesn't have the time to call or text...I want to believe that until...I hear from her sister and brother that they have talked to her, they have gotten text messages returned, so...not sure what to think?
Sometimes...It is What It Is! Letting go of hope is the hardest thing...most painful moment..to let it slip away and suddenly...have no hope at all!
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